


Wake me up when September starts, or August Angst drabbles collection

by volnaib



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, August Angst, F/M, Knights of Ren: Plague of Beleriand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-26 22:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 5,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15672819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volnaib/pseuds/volnaib
Summary: A collection of very short sad stories featuring Kylo Ren and Rey. Looks like it was recommended to keep them at 100-word length, maximum 250; not that I followed that rule closely.The "tolkienian" pieces are chapters 1-8, 10, 16, 19 and 21. Feel free to skip these.





	1. Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, as (perhaps) many other ones, takes place in my underdeveloped 'Knights of Ren: Plague of Beleriand' alternative universe, which is a Silmarillion (First Age of Arda) - slash - Star Wars (Sequels Trilogy) crossover.  
> If you want to skip the Silmarillion-related chapters, go straight to number 9. The list of those is being maintained in the whole work's summary.

A young man, son of their thane, lies on his face. He is covered with a thick layer of dirt mixed with blood (not all of which is his).

"Please, do not slay him."

"What are you willing to sacrifice for such a boon?"

A fair-haired, fair-looking man smiles curiously at the pleading father, old of age, clutching to his cane. Rey stares at these two, not able to avert her gaze. She is both enchanted and terrified by the speaker. His looks are most beautiful, his words are wise, his eyes are piercing like the sharpest blades.  No one has told her, but deep in her heart she knows he is no Man; no, an ancient god clad in mortal flesh, shining like a beacon in the darkest night, wicked as all the creatures of the Enemy. There is nothing she can do to save their leader's son, their only hope in the creeping days of Shadow.

Unless...

"I am willing to sacrifice my life to save him from death," she says as she steps forward and clenches her teeth to stop them from clattering.

The fair-haired one raises his eyebrows in amusement, while a tall knight clad in black puts the tip of his longsword to her chest, denying her passage.

"You cannot sacrifice what does not belong to you anymore," comes a voice from behind his mask.

She takes half a step more. Her voice is hoarse.

"I can take my life whenever I want. Thus, it belongs to me only."

The fair-haired one suppresses a laugh. "Decide now," he tells the Knight.

The Knight falls silent.

"I accept your offering," he says at last. "But I will keep your life; for some time."

Rey is engulfed by both relief and regret overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've learned of this challenge a week too late and couldn’t find the original prompts list, so I had to read other people's chapter titles to figure it out. Thanks to @weywobi for including the link to their pic's description.
> 
> Feel free to point out any mistakes of mine, be it SW lore or grammar.
> 
> Prompts list by @benscalligraphy: https://twitter.com/benscalligraphy/status/1024694281913737216


	2. Deny

"But who will deny Yavanna?"

"He who would deny his kin safe passage into eternal exile!" Gorthaur laughs, a wolfish grin on his face.

Hux is visibly disturbed and spends the rest of the day brooding grimly.

Ren tells her of Losgar, Fëanor, and how the latter burned the ships – one of which, apparently, carried his own son (by mischance, as elves tell; of course they would).

At some point, while Ren is still telling the tale, it seems reasonable for Rey to guess that this son’s spirit hasn’t returned to the West but lingered in Middle-earth, and Gorthaur has found him, and bound him to a body, “for Gorthaur is a great necromancer”.

And Hux should be the result of it. He cannot bite off Gorthaur’s scorn because Gorthaur is the one who holds his spirit bound like a hostage. A ghoul who is denied life by his father and death by the magic of Morgoth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gorthaur, which translates from Sindarin as “Terrible Dread”, is also known as Sauron.  
> Hux is an elf. A redhaired one, which means he’s probably a noldo. In some insane dream, he could be a zombie of that Ambarussa who got burned down at Losgar.  
> Consider this to be a sub-AU.


	3. Ghost

Orcs chanting "It’s! Time! To! Die!", Gorthaur circling the party – wild-eyed, wild-haired, blood-spitting, – Hux leaning on a tree, mild interest in his eyes. And him. Tall and dark and otherworldly in his war mask, unsheathed sword in his hands, unmoving and ominous. He lifts the sword and points at a beautiful elf-maiden, tall and bright-eyed, their lady, by her looks. She stands up and takes a step forward, her gaze piercing the appalling mask before her. Rey cannot look away from her. _Elleth_ takes another step, and another one, and again, until her chest touches the point of the sword. There is no fear in her eyes; only fire.

They stand for a long moment, silent and still as stone, until Gorthaur walks behind her and runs his sword in a quick, clean movement through the lady’s heart.

Rey cannot see the body as it collapses on the ground; she screams and falls herself, blinded by the light that appears before her eyes in the form of the slain elf-lady.

"Fear not. She cannot harm you; not if you refuse to heed her words," Ren says, and she knows he is talking to _her_. But she cannot stop looking at the wraith, being seized by awe and terror.

"Go forth. The Halls are calling for you."

"Know that their call shall bring you suffering beyond all measure," the wraith says, looking from Ren to Rey; and her light fades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren sounds somewhat like a ‘beleriandic’ name, but Hux is definitely foreign.  
> They could actually be Rhén, Rëí, and Hákþ (He who hacketh death) for all we know.


	4. Bleed

Gorthaur was seemingly offended by the fact it was Ren who got to spar with Lord Melkor, and not him. The choice must have been made due to the fact these two favoured longswords and greatswords, while Gorthaur was more keen to shorter blades and faster strikes. Gothmog with his axe was out of this league, too, but it did little (if anything) to console the lieutenant's pride.

When Ren walked out of the hall, his face was pale, walk unsteady, and the cloak he draped himself in was getting more wet with each step, as if he were sweating in the hottest forge of the stronghold.

"It was a good fight," Ren whispered, smiling for a quick moment with the scariest smile of blood-red teeth, before collapsing on the stone floor right before Rey’s feet.

"Not good enough for you," Gorthaur snarled, walking over the sprawled body. Ren made a sound similar to a laugh as the lieutenant mockingly tripped over to kick him in the ribs; Rey, kneeling beside the knight (whose hair, now laid upon both the floor and his shoulders, was covered in dark red), knew it was not a laugh.

Unlike the sound that Hux made while watching them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Ren and Sauron are fallen maiar (lesser gods) with high ranks among the hosts of Morgoth (the Enemy). Hux is just an elf who is very unhappy with such a difference between their positions.


	5. Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one follows chapter 3 (Ghost).

Rey ignores the orcs and starts digging into cold earth with her bare hands. A soft whisper comes from behind: “This is not their custom,” as big hands envelop her arms and help her up. “Neither is this,” says Hux, giving Rey a flaming torch and gesturing at the pyre. “But we have no time for their dead ones… who are but rotting carrion now.”

Rey comes to the wooden structure and kisses the hand of the elven lady who had prophesied her suffering unmeasured. For Rey’s people has always been destined to tread the bitter paths which led ever to death only, and this she knew all too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is adaneth (a mortal woman) of the House of Haleth. Friends of Elves, enemies of Morgoth. Very mortal.


	6. Pieta

"What is their story? I heard the name of Turambar, but of the others I know not. What do you have to say of them?"

"He was the Dragonslayer, as these runes tell: Dagnir Glaurunga, the bane of the Father of Dragons. Nienor was his wife, and Morwen his mother. His kin was our Lord's foe, and bitter fate was theirs to suffer: in life alone to stumble, in death a gravestone to share."

"Foe or not, but I wish I could die like this lady Morwen. Knowing your son was a great warrior, who slew a worm to protect his wife – and his people, I deem."

"I should but hope this wish comes never to its fulfillment," Ren said, his eyes closed. "For you shall know that Morwen Eledhwen was the last one to die of those whose names are on this stone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren forgot to mention that Nienor was not only Túrin’s wife but also his sister.   
> Narn i Hîn Húrin is the epitome of angst.


	7. Yearn

“Do you yearn for the sacred Western lands of the gods? Were you not one of them, once?” Rey asked, still looking at the falling Sun.

“Sometimes I do. Aman has places of immense beauty. And then I remember why I left. See, Lord Melkor is the most ancient, most powerful of them all; his might is beyond anyone’s reach and understanding, even; Manwë, the one whom elves call the King of Arda, is but a pale willow in the shadow of the mountain that is our Lord.”

“How do you know that you are right to worship your lord and the elves are wrong to fight him?”

Ren silently watched the point where the sun had disappeared moments ago.

“Have you heard him singing?”

She looked at him, confused.

“I will explain it someday. You shall see for yourself. Now, it is time for you to rest; we have another party of our foes ahead of us; this night there shall be blood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Melkor (Morgoth) had a huge disagreement with his fellow Valar (gods) of the Music of the Universe Orchestra, so he went Solo and founded his own underground doom metal/rock opera project instead.


	8. Fate

“You are a fool, Ren,” Gorthaur mused. “You do not need to wed the girl to get what you want from her. Do you know what you have done? You have lost your lucidity. You are going to have a brief moment of exaltation; several years if luck is on your side, a couple of decades at most, which will pass in a blink of an eye. And then she will start to age, to fade away. Mortality is in her nature, it cannot be changed and you know it. We could try to bind her to this world, stretch the span of her life, but this is not permanent, either. If her fëa clings to her hröa, she will become a wicked creature, having no rest not in flesh nor in mind. If not, still her body will eventually burn out or fade, and her soul will either leave Arda or join the phantom hosts. Whatever happens, you will be separated in the end.

“You should have slain her when she offered it. Now this is the fate you have brought upon yourself.”

Ren watched the tiny figure of a sleeping woman curled under his vast cloak.

"So be it," he murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sauron, the immortal necromancer: #would not recommend.  
> Fëa means spirit/soul and hröa means body.


	9. Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A post-TLJ piece.

Gleaming streaks are on her cheeks. He reaches his hand and halts halfway through, takes off his glove and covers her tearstained skin. A jolt goes through his body, just like that time they held hands over the fire, being light years away. A sudden realization strikes both their minds; her eyes widen.

"What you told me of my parents, it wasn’t truth..."

"...but your greatest fear. It was so strong..."

"...that you thought it couldn’t be just a product of my mind."

He says nothing and gives her a short nod, then turns away and mutters to himself: "If you turn out to be Luke's long lost daughter, I’m going to strangle myself to death."

"Why so?"

_Damn._

He turns around abruptly.

"Because it would be impossible for us to–"

"To... what?" she asks when a considerable amount of time passes.

His shoulders are slumped.

"Nothing," he breathes. "It’s… nothing."


	10. Brood

Rey watched several giant lizards snapping at each other. Despite their size, they looked like they were hatchlings.

“A fire worm's spawn,” Ren pointed out.

“They always fight each other. Shouldn’t they be taught not to?”

“When they get older, some will certainly kill most of the other ones.”

“It is but a waste of lives.”

“Only the strongest should survive. You do not let out a party of these out to the battlefield. You let out a single one, and he destroys everything around him. There is no camaraderie among dragons, especially worms like these.”

“Is there camaraderie at all in your hosts?”

“Among higher beings, such as myself, yes. Balrogs fight well together; they are dreadful to look upon, yet they are anything but mindless beasts.”

“If dragons are beasts, it still does not mean they should have no chance to survive when there is a stronger biter in the nest.”

“They are not exactly beasts, and no, they do not need to have such a chance.”

“Everyone should have a chance,” she said wholeheartedly.

He did not answer, just gazed at her intently. For they were not talking of the dragon's brood anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey would’ve loved Sauron’s (were-)wolves. They are fluffy and good companions, especially when they are not tasked with eating elves.


	11. Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ.

The bond has disappeared.

_Finally!_

It happened when he got in a coma after being badly wounded, but looks like it was worth it.

The presence was overwhelming and annoying. Even when they weren’t connected, something would still go down the bond in both directions. Now either Rey has learned to close it properly, or it has somehow disintegrated by itself. The former is more probable, since if the bond were destroyed, he wouldn’t feel that gnawing emptiness, would he?

Some time passes, and Kylo kind of starts to miss their connection (which he would deny in the most aggressive of his ways).

“What of the Jedi?” he asks Hux one day.

“What of her?” General narrows his eyes. “Long since dead. Such things don’t tend to change.”

“How long?” Ren manages to fight a small burst of pain in his throat.

 “For about two standard weeks. Got blown up in her X-Wing right when you went comatose. Hasn’t anyone told you that?”

_That’s why I hadn’t felt the tearing. I simply wasn’t there._

“No. I--”

_Wasn’t there for her._

“Thank you for the good news, General.”


	12. Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ.

It feels like I look at you through a window with grenade-proof glass. I can see everything, but I am only a watcher; I can’t tell you a word, can’t reach out to you no matter what I do. I could shout, wave hands, even throw a table in your direction to no avail. And that hurts, you know. To feel helpless. Reminds me of that time we first met: I could only stand there and listen to a guy swinging a lightsaber and rummaging through my thoughts. What a jerk.

If only you could still hear me, I would tell you I want to talk. Well, first kick your dumb arse, and then definitely talk. You just seem to be that kind of person who can listen only after having their nose broken. I just wish you could break the glass instead.

Or, you know, open the window for, like, five minutes.


	13. Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ.

"You know, sometimes I miss the old days. It was so much simpler then. Back on Jakku, all I had to think about was survival and waiting. Later, hanging out with the good guys – the Resistance – and fighting the bad ones, meaning you. But look at me now! Here I stand, deciding whether it is good or evil, will it end the war or start a new one, should I use the First Order for a higher purpose or just destroy this kriffing swarm in the name of great justice! And what a hard time I have deciding. If only I knew that this action of mine would lead to desired results and not another swirl of a galactic drama."

"You will have to make a decision to figure it out. I'll support any one you take," he said in a conversational manner, and then added in a lower voice: "You already know that I've sacrificed everything I had."

"I know," she answered in a hushed tone. "And I’m really sorry for that."

She made a quick, powerful swing with her – former his – blade, a sweeping move, an ending move.


	14. Love letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ.

Hux said that there has been found a backup of Leia Organa’s mail folder titled "nerfherder".

"Judging by the contents of it, it’s sappy romance correspondence between her and the Resistance General Han Solo. Well, romance... Tough love, rather. The letters are short and snarky. A pretty amusing read at times, if you ask my opinion. Our security personnel are still analyzing it, but it seems there’s nothing of strategic worth. But perhaps your Supreme Leadership would be able to–"

"Destroy it."

"Beg your pardon?"

"All of it. Dameron is their new leader. We don’t need epistolary atrocities of dead people to finish him."

"As you say. Not that I fully approve of–"

“I have no need in your approval, General.”

Or in any kind of disclosure of their family’s secrets. He has already been through too much of it.


	15. Might-have-been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the abilities of Aalto Ren from nymja's Crossroads series.

Ben has a secret. He can see the future. Futures, to be precise. They are different, but one thing – one person – is constant.

In some paths, she is Kira, in some she has other names or none at all; always, she is somehow very important to the Galaxy – and to him. There, in the distance, he is a Senator, and she has an ugly artificial leg due to hers being broken in her teens and having no medical droids nearby (or on that whole dusty planet, perhaps). She tries to kill him, fails, and dies herself. Another world, another story. Most of the times he learns too late of the girl and regrets it for the rest of his (not always that long) life.

Ben walks these paths and stores every single one in his memory. His mind ages much faster than his body, which is rather uncomfortable, but he can live with it.

Ben finally chooses that thread of paths where this important part of his life starts at just the right time, and follows it closely, because in the end, it is the right thing to do. It is crucial to find her before it is too late, even if it might prove a painful experience.

Ben chooses to become Kylo Ren.


	16. Ashes

On the vast black planes of Anfauglith – Ard-galen, as it was called before the fiery onslaught had been set by the powers of Morgoth, – there can be seen a lonely figure walking north. The figure walks unsteady, limping, propping on a cane. A blow of the cruel northern wind takes off their hood, and Rey can see it’s a woman. A very old one, her face cut by deep wrinkles, her hair pure white. The woman reaches a pile of something which is black on black, bows down, touches what Rey, approaching quickly, recognizes as a fire-scorched shield of great size, and then kneels before the pile, waiting for Rey to come up beside her.

"Lord Aegnor," the woman sighs, looking at the pile which turns out to be a blackened skeleton of a very large man, or an elf, rather. "Here we meet again."

And she weeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) If it were a novel, there surely would have appeared some sort of time inconsistency. This piece apparently takes place several years after the Battle of the Sudden Flame (year 455 of the First Age) with Andreth (this weeping woman) being old but still alive. Part 8 (Fate) tells us that even if Sauron (or Morgoth himself) were to prolong Rey’s life, it wouldn’t be much. Hence, all the Rey-related stories have to take place around FA 455, so she probably couldn’t live to learn the tale of Túrin Turambar who died in FA 499 (44 years later)…or maybe she did and was looking like an ordinary sixty-something woman.  
> 2) It was said that Aegnor (brother of Galadriel) was slain in battle, but here he died of fire: either volcanic activity of Thangorodrim, or dragons/balrogs incinerating whatever hadn’t burned yet.


	17. Dream

She dreamed of him. Even before they met. She was both eager and afraid to meet that voice, that shadow, to make all the different pieces click into place. What she never knew was that eagerness and fear were for the same; she didn’t know the sweet voice of hope and the dark one calling for her were entangled, that the daydream and the nightmare were one.

He had dreams, too; they were disturbing. The pull to the Light… At some point he thought that struggle of light and dark in both of them was destined to bind them together, and with the bond they already shared they would become as a sole being; they would be unstoppable, unbreakable, unbending.

Seems it was a different kind of story. The "hero is no hero without his villain" one.

So they follow the rules. They fight and cry in pain.

Sometimes, the pain is for their dreams.


	18. Statuary

Ren, surrounded by his knights, all in black; behind them, stormtroopers in ideal formation, clad in their white armour. All stood utterly still; a perfect statuary. It had an air of some classic art, beautiful to look upon – especially if you were several light years and hundreds of standard years of time away. But she was not. She was kneeling there, fifty feet of distance from Kylo, thirty seconds of time from execution. They had to rush to help and do something to stop her lyncher, they ought to break the merciless tranquility, _he_ had to–

The last thing she saw was him mouthing something, probably "I’m sorry", or maybe "Die, you damned sand rat".

Not that it mattered anymore.


	19. Haunt

"I had a dream," she told him, still shivering. "A dream of a wicked place, a manned stronghold with no man inside; full of ghosts it was, a host of fiends, and phantoms, and foul beasts. Never it fell asleep, but more alive it was at night than in daytime."

"Be not afraid," Ren said. "For I know this haunted place of your dreams. It is Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the Wizard’s Isle, the fortress of Gorthaur, Lord of Werewolves. And this is precisely the place we are headed for."

Rey's words were but a whisper. "You said once he was a necromancer."

Ren smiled. "That, too," he answered in the same hushed voice, half-mocking her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fortress was called Minas Tirith at first and belonged to Finrod Felagund (brother of Galadriel). Later it was held by Orodreth his brother (or nephew in other versions of the legendarium), and then Sauron happened.


	20. Golden moment

They stand and stare into each other's eyes. He feels she's disturbed. What will she tell him?

That she forgives him? Forgives him for being a patricidal monster, because Snoke is to blame.

Or that she has faith in him, that he can still be redeemed; as even Vader had light in him after years of being an evil self-eating pack of flesh and wires, then surely Ren could get back onto the path of righteousness?

That she simply waits for him to turn good because deep inside he is a Jedi, his mother's son, a Skywalker?

Or that she detests him utterly and wishes him to die as soon as it is physically possible?

Instead, she says that if she could have changed only one thing in her ( _their_ ) past, she would have decided to make him stay at home instead of sending him to the Academy.

And he stays silent as if stricken for a time, then nods and just says "Yes" softly.


	21. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow up to Chapter 7 (Yearn).

Morgoth sang.

It was nothing like the songs of elves or her people. There was power unimaginable, but horror enveloped and pierced her very being, making her limbs go numb and then shake as if in fever.

She felt Ren’s arms embracing her as he stepped soundlessly behind her. When she inclined her head to look at his face, she saw wet glimmer in his eyes.

“Do you hear it?” he asked. “Do you feel the power of the Ancient One?”

This was a Song of Death, a Symphony of Destruction. Indeed, it was powerful, but it only made one want to run away and hide somewhere; it radiated terror. All she wanted now was to succumb to the tremble of her knees and fall on her face. And Ren’s embrace was the only thing that kept her standing there, behind the _almost closed_ doors.

When she was able to breathe properly again, she sobbed, turned to face him, threw her arms around his neck and wept bitterly.

 "Forgive me. This is not for mortal ears." He whispered. "Sometimes I forget you are _adaneth_ and not a higher spirit. Come away with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was said that Elves didn’t like the sound of Valarin, the tongue of the Valar (Gods) which Morgoth here uses. Elves and mortal Men are different people, but Melkor/Morgoth singing in Valarin must be a really dreadful thing.


	22. Mourning

Rey has been a Jedi for several years already.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

She had never imagined she could mourn for her damn desert of a home (well, foster-home) planet, now destroyed by another MegaDeathStarTerminator – or whatever First Order calls it – super weapon. A planet which associated for her with dust, immense heat, lack of food, broken bones, and Unkar Plutt. But also hope, years of hope which had next to no proof of its validity. So much similarity to religious faith, and Rey had been its zealot ever since she had actual memories of her conscious life.

And now First Order – _Kylo be damned_ – has ripped this symbol, this sigil away from her. _He_ probably thought it was the right way for her to let the past die.

As anger subsided, pain was left in its place. After that meeting with Plutt, _he_ probably thought it was the right way for him to retaliate on her behalf.


	23. Wreath

"Supreme Leader Armitage Hux. Sounds feasible, doesn't it? Or, even better: Emperor Hux. What do you say, Ren? Perhaps I should get myself a head-wreath."

Ren would say something if not for the excessive amount of drugs flowing in his bloodstream. His half-delirious mind is trying to figure out if Rey would appreciate a wreath on his own head.

Then it switches to think of a time on Chandrila when he and Leia stood under a Uneti tree and Mom was telling him stuff about it and the Force and she had a wreath on her head and she was so pretty and he totally forgot about this really good memory and now...

He should be angry but can't bring himself to hate this situation in particular and Hux in general, no pun intended–

"What are you laughing at, you wretched idiot?" Hux lashes out.

"Wreaths," Ren manages. "Wreaths are good."


	24. Disaster

"You are nothing but a threat to the First Order now,” she says. “Come with us. Come with me. Please".

Kylo presses his lightsaber hilt into her hand. "You know what you have to do", he mutters, persuading her into committing a mercy kill.

The interesting part is that she means _you pose a threat_. He hears _you are nothing_.

She urges him to go, still.

“You understand you are asking me to forsake everything, don’t you?” he argues, as always. “I have already lost all that I hadn’t given up earlier.”

His Knights have all perished in a single attempt of dethroning Hux the Usurper.

“Not. Everything.” The determination in her voice is both amusing and awe-inspiring. "Besides, as you pointed it out, you already have almost nothing to lose. What’s the point in hesitating?”

They bicker about the exact meaning of the word “everything” for a time, and then Kylo makes a long exhale.

"Fine. You want me to forsake the last things I have, even if they are not many. I will agree to do so, but only if you do the same in return, and some more which would be to your own benefit. You know what I’m talking about. I _will be_ your teacher. I will show you how to use the Force, both the Light and the Dark side, everything I know. You will forfeit your friends, your connections, everything; we will come to some backwater planet and stay there until your training is complete. And then you may go as you will and do whatever you seem fit, and I won’t stand in your path ever again". And it seems he guesses it will end the Sith way, with apprentice killing the master; she can’t be sure until she peeks into his mind.

It ends much faster than they thought, with them lying face to face on the snow which quickly turns scarlet, having symmetrical holes in their chests, because Kylo was a fool to cast away all his senses and concentrate only on Rey and his vision.

Who knew Hux was such a good sniper, though.


	25. Howl

Rey is tired of straps holding her fastened to her seat. Finn and Rose are, too, judging by their looks. They all know that the only thing that makes her sit still is the tall frame of the Supreme Leader pacing the shuttle's small deck and she would sit all the same without any confinement measures. But _oh,_ they need to make a show of it, _look,_ the Jedi girl got imprisoned!

Rey is sick of it.

Kylo seems to feel the same, but he has to play along for Hux and several officers that are on board.

Still, he got invested enough in their mind-conversation to come and hover over her, dropping occasional words that had meaning only for the two of them.

At some point, they both shudder and sway, feeling a burst through the Force as some fanatic having no relation to fighting the Resistance but harboring immeasurable abhorrence towards local government blows himself up and wipes bystanding Leia Organa from existence in the process. If Kylo could bring one person from dead, he would’ve resurrected this freaking worm and make him pay. Dearly.

Ren looks into Rey’s eyes.

_Don’t tell me you felt the same_

Rey is wide eyed; tears start to trickle down her cheeks.

He sighs, walks away into confined compartment and then lets out a dreadful howl of an animal being eaten alive. People shoot glances at each other but say nothing.

As he returns, General Hux asks almost nonchalantly: “Is everything all right, Supreme Leader?”

Ren manages to speak levelly. "A minor disturbance in the Force. It is gone now."


	26. Message

"We teach our officers that the message is in the name: First, order. It has a stunning similarity to your Jedi philosophy: you say you stand to keep the balance. Balance is what order gives you; thus, we fight for the same thing, but somehow your dim-witted sect refuses to understand it and proceeds to bring about chaos instead of letting more competent organizations to take care of making things right."

Hux leans closer and lowers his voice, though does nothing to lower the level of venom in it.

"I want you, scavenger Jedi, to know that you may be able to sway our virgin Supreme Leader, but you will never do the same thing to the whole Order. It is vast, and you are all alone. And one more thing: if someone deserts the First Order, they either return and receive punishment according to their cause, or get eliminated. Even if they are the head of the Order. Now answer yourself one simple question: do you really want your _pet monster_ to go through it for your false ideals' sakes, or would you leave it alone?

“Think it thoroughly through, girl. Take your time while you still have some."


	27. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the “Cut her, and he’ll bleed” line from TDoKR by nymja.

They take a short break to catch their breaths staring at each other while their bond roars and trembles as a wild animal on chase.

"You can't do it," he pants out. "Not without hurting yourself as well."

His wounds are throbbing in her flesh as if they were her own, just as he feels every bit of her pain. Not that it ever stopped them from fighting each other or anyone else.

Her gaze is full of determination, as always, but for a split second he notices a flicker of sadness crossing her features, an unsuitable thing for this situation.

"You don't know what I am about to do."

His heart stops for a moment as realization comes while the dreadful words are still coming out of her mouth.

"I am not going to hurt myself. I am going to end this."

He lets out a startled yell while Force-pulling the lightsaber off her hands, but Rey is faster. Her finger finds ignition, and the blade pierces both their hearts, ripping them into halves that will never grow together again.


	28. Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was no number 28 in the list, so I took the word “nothing” for a prompt.

After the fight with Snoke’s Praetorian Guards, Ben lies unconscious. She approaches him hesitantly at first, but bolder with each step. Leans over, checks his pulse and his breathing to make sure he’s still alive, then comes even closer and whispers near his ear, half-hoping the Force might translate her words into his sleeping mind somehow:

"You are everything. But not to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let’s separate. You are welcome.


	29. Ocean

Under thick clouds he discerns familiar waves of the ocean, straight from her dreams which he had extracted... not so long ago as it feels to him, actually. He can tell they are familiar since there amongst them stands that accursedly blessed island, a place where Skywalker spent his last years. He could try to tell in which exact part the Jedi used to live, if only he were to _get_ to the island or its vicinity. But with the engines dead, the shuttle's aerodynamics could do nothing of help.

Ah, help.

He can’t help but think of the mesmerizing beauty of the quickly approaching seascape underneath. Can’t stop comparing it to _them_ – ocean as an image of his raging passion attacking to no avail the island, which is a mirror of her cruel, unfriendly serenity.

It could have left him brooding for days, if not for blood flowing from his temple which would undoubtedly attract all the shark-like marine creatures he had felt through the Force before his vision started to go off.


	30. Grasp

It is over.

For _them_ , the victorious Resistance and the destroyed First Order.

For him, the infamous Supreme Leader of the said Order. He will have to testify before the court (or is it going to be a military tribunal?), and then _answer for his crimes._ Which means they are going to be mulling for days over what to do with him. Probably they'll settle on hanging. His surrender to their beloved Jedi will not have any significant impact on his sentence. Maybe they'll let him do a longer speech than it is usually permitted for war criminals.

He is being escorted by an impressively big armed convoy _with a force-lock_ to the ship that will carry him to the court when _she_ appears out of nowhere (him not feeling her presence in the back of his mind is the result of their bond being muted by the aforementioned force-lock). She spots him, stops in her tracks as she looks around – how many eyes are trained on her now? – and then rushes head-first towards him. The convoy lingers for a little while, out of reverence for her accomplishments, no doubt.

She goes for a small talk, but his answers are single-word for the most part, and she ends up fiddling with the hem of her tunic, quickly glancing from his face to her toes and back again. Convoy grows impatient.

Kylo doesn't really want to say the words, but someone has to.

"Well, good-bye then, Jedi girl."

She looks at him as if his words sting – for a moment, and then her gaze softens a little.

"Well, good-bye... how do I call you now?"

"Ben would do, but that's only between us two. _Venomous snake_ is okay for public use."

She laughs somewhat sadly and walks away without any further words, but then turns around suddenly, runs up to him – almost bumping into him – catches his collar into a firm grasp, bends him forcefully so that their foreheads touch, runs her fingers over something – a chain – under her own collar, produces a golden item from under her tunic – eerily familiar dice – quickly throws the chain over her head and then his, onto his neck, hides the dice under his shirt, slaps her palm over it, chirps "Well, see you soon, then!" and jogs away.

"Rey!" he cries, as he comes to his senses.

"Yeah?" she yells from the distance.

He swallows.

"May the Force be with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read about that force-lock device in a single fic and thought it was legit. 


	31. Embrace (II)

They stand back to back on a clearing, and the masked figures around them tighten the circle.

“Don’t be afraid,” Kylo tells her. “These are my men, the Knights of Ren. They are loyal to me.”

“Then what are _you_ afraid of?” Rey asks him under her breath.

“Betrayal,” he mutters several seconds later.

One figure comes forth, the smallest one, hanging the lightsaber hilt on their belt – her belt; Rey is surprised to recognize the knight to be a female judging by her walk, and not by the voice distorted by the mask.

“We were looking for you everywhere!” the knight exclaims as she approaches Kylo and embraces him tightly. He seems to relax just a little. “We’ve almost lost hope to find you…”

The masked woman takes a metal blade out of her sleeve and slits his throat in a blink of an eye.

“…traitor.”


End file.
